Bakit hindi ka crush ng crush mo?

(Based on a read article. Just modified and edited)

Bakit nga hindi ka crush ng crush mo? :p

It’s an age old question best asked over opened bottles of cold beer. But it’s also the question movie director Joyce Bernal hopes to answer with this book-turned-movie “Bakit hindi ka crush ng crush mo?”

bakit-hindi-ka-crush-ng-crush-mo

The thoughts were gathered from internet action star Ramon Bautista’s funny facts about love and relationships which he blames the fault falls on three specific parts of the body: the heart, the brain and the bird. According to him, though we all know its basically and scientifically all from the bird, but for him they all share equal blame in what is often called a “failed love life.” The heart is at odds with the bird, and both are in a never ending battle with the brain.

It’s funny on how I wish I was relatives with this cool guy. I do not know if he based all his facts from experiences or just by merely assuming the outcome from people’s shared ideas on love and relationships. He basically makes heartaches simple and answerable. His wit regarding this matter makes all heart breaks so easy to get over with.

This movie self-titled: Bakit hindi ka crush ng crush mo is written by Ramon Bautista and he himself is casted in the movie. The book is not very appealing but it somehow makes logical sense.

bhkcncm

Sandy (Kim Chui) isn’t the prettiest girl in the city. But she might as well be the most committed especially when it comes to relationships. When her boyfriend Gardo (Kean Cipriano) decides to break up with her on the evening of their anniversary, Sandy is left to mend the broken pieces of her heart with the help of her new boss Alex (Xian Lim). Sandy agrees to a deal with Alex to help turn his dying business upside down if he can help transform Sandy from heartbroken to heartbreaker.

It’s just like the story of the ugly duckling who turned into a swan.

Bautista isn’t the only comedian in this roundabout story of true love. While it might be easy to lay credit on the archetypal best friend, it’s Kim Chiu herself who ends up being the funny bone of the film. Her bushy eyebrows and hideously curly hair only help to accentuate Kim’s apparent knack for comedy.

KIM 5

While a lot of the film’s humor is driven by Bernal’s own off-kilter style of comedy, it’s Kim’s mix of youthful naivety and karaoke bar tact that makes her such a great medium for Bernal’s punch lines.

Unfortunately, Xian Lim just can’t keep up with Kim’s crazy antics. The pretty boy puts on a pretty serviceable performance, but fails to make a strong enough impression on his own when Kim isn’t in the picture.

XIAN 4

Audiences looking for serious answers to their love problems might best look elsewhere. But for others who just want a funny and cute (albeit safe) night at the box office, Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo? might just be the answer you’re looking for.

THE VERDICT: Kim Chiu flexes some surprising comedic muscle in a film that is both kilig and funny. But while Bakit Hindi Ka Crush Ng Crush Mo? boasts a fresh style of humor, it still suffers from the tired formula of romantic comedies.

Mga dahilan kung bakit hindi ka crush ng crush mo:
1. Hindi niya type ang pagmumukha mo.
2. Masama ang ugali mo.
3. Hindi niya trip ang mga trip mong tv shows.
3. Sabi sa horoscope niyo hindi kayo bagay.
4.Wala ka sa radar niya at di ka niya napapansin.
5. Baka may syota ang isa sa inyo.
6.  Kung wala siyang syota, baka iba ang crush niya

I hope you’ll enjoy Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo quotes just as much as I did.

“Diba pag inlove ka, tanga ka?”

Sandy: Tsaka true love ‘to. I can really feel it from within.

Gardo: Sobra naman to, Babe.

Sandy: Sobra kasi kitang mahal eh.

Alex: Music doesn’t die. Nag-iiba lang talaga ang taste ng tao sa music. Maybe we just have to adopt to that change.

Gardo: Sandy, pagod na ako. Pahinga muna tayo. Walang problema sa’yo, Sandy. Ang bait-bait mo nga. We need space.

Sandy: Kung saan pwede makalimot… Hindi ko na po kaya. Gusto ka na pong mabulok.

RB: Dalawa lang yan. Gusto  ka niya or ayaw niya sa’yo. Walang overlap.

Alex: I can turn you in to that… Someone exciting, more sexy. You will learn how to love like a man. Love like it’s a game. Hindi ka na muling iiyak.

Sandy: Pasensya na po sir. Broken hearted dress ko po to eh.
Alex: So everyone has to know?

Tangerine: Parang di ko yata kaya ‘pag sa buhay ko’y wala ka. Aanhin ang pag-ibig kung puso ay nag-iisa?
Sandy: Theme song ko rin yan kay Gardo.
Tangerine: Sinong aking tatawagin? Sino aking hahanapin? Bakit ka pa nakita? Bakit pa nakilala kung ang puso ko ay iiwan mo lang at sasaktan.

Tangerine: Ang harsh na ng mga comments. Akala nila wala na akong karapatan na masaktan. 10 months pa lang pero gusto lang nila na makamove on ako.

“Wasak na Puso: Akala ko ikaw ay akin, totoo sa aking paningin…”

“She’s very talented. Pangit nga lang.”

“Eh ano ngayon kung pangit ka?”
“Tandaan, daig ng malandi ang maganda.”

Sandy: Sir, sex agad? Hindi pa pwedeng love muna bago sex? Marriage muna bago sex?

Super Epic bar scene:

“Hey.”
“Hi.”
“Hi, I’m sandy. Uhm, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure? What is it?”
“Do you believe in love?”
“What the fuck.”

Sandy: Sir, do you believe in love? Kami kasi sa Boso Boso naniniwala sa true love… Ang gusto ko po talaga sa lalaki ay yung marunong mag-gitara. Yung marunong gumawa ng kanta… Yun po yung ideal guy ko.

Alex: Yung buhok mo medyo bothersome. Pwede ba natin gawan ng paraan yan?
Sandy: Sir, sa simula pa po, ito na yung best look ko.

Alex: Do me a favor Sandy. Don’t be needy. Let the man call you first.

RB: Kung mag-lalandian kayo. Pwede kayo nalang guys. Wag niyo na akong idamay.

RB: Denial ang first stage ng pagmamahal sa’yo.

Sandy: So do you like the change?

Alex: No personal questions. That’s the rule. Ganyan talaga. I’m the boss.

Sandy: Pero alam niyo sir, na-google ko na kayo.
Alex: So, did you like what you saw?
Sandy: Mas gusto ko po tong hard copy.

Chief: That was a happy melody.

“Naka-move on ka na ba talaga?”
Sandy: Oo naman noh. Matibay na to. Matibay na matibay na.

RB: San ka dito? Safe  pero boring. O dito, delikado pero fun. It’s your decision.

Alex: Be charming sa parents ng lalaki. Lalo na sa lalo niya.

Chief: I’m beginning to love this girl. She tells the truth… How is he doing?

Sandy: Lumalaban pa rin. Siguro po para sa inyo.
Chief: How is he as a boyfriend?

Sandy: Mayabang. Gagawin niya po yung kahit na anong gusto niya. Tapos ikaw po, sunod-sunuran lang sa kanya. Parang ayaw niya po na makilala siya ng ibang tao.

Sandy: Grabe, parang magazine ang buong pamilya niyo. Bawal ang pangit… Ikaw din ang may gawa ng best night ever sa life ko.

“Malandi ang tingin ko sa iyo. Dati kasi hindi pero ngayon confirmed. Malandi ka talaga.”

“She said yes and committed na siya sayo? Paano ka nakakasiguro? What do you know about commitment?”

“Meron kang main world at ang mga ibang aspeto ng buhay mo tulad ng trabaho, pag-ibig at iba pa ay dapat magkahiwalay. Kasi kapag-nagunaw, madadamay na ang lahat.”

“We don’t wanna burn bridges.”

Sandy: Mapapatay ko talaga yang bitch na yun. Ahas siya eh.

Alex: Sa lahat ng babae, mabait sila so don’t feel special. Diba sabi ko sayo don’t assume anything diba? How can you tell? You were so drunk. Pano mo nalaman na totoo? It was just a test. Everything was a test.

Sandy: Practical exam, ganun lang?
Alex: Oo.
Sandy: Ang lupit mo namang teacher ano.

Alex: I’ll text you when I need you.

Chief: I saw how she looked at you. At nakita ko kung paano mo siya tinignan. You were very happy. You even played a song for her. And I even told myself that this time, Alex is really in love.

Alex: I’m glad you’re back.

Sandy: Hindi naman po ako ganun ka-sensitive. At least ngayon alam na natin kung ano ang kailangan natin sa isa’t-isa. Puro lang kayo paasa. Payummy. Ako naman, pa-victim. Pero wala na akong magawa kundi umasa nalang na makarma kayo… Oh ano masaya ka na?  Pakshit ka. Gago.

“Magbago man ang feelings mo. Huwag na huwag mong babahuhin ang sarili mo.”

Chief: It’s all about you. You have to move on. Laura is out of this. Tell me, Alex, what’s wrong with failure?
Alex: Dahil pagod na pagod na ako. What’s the point of trying again?

Pokwang: Anak, kumusta na kayo?
Beksbro: Keribels naman nay. Salamat tinanggap niyo ako.
Sandy: Ako wala na po akong trabaho nay pero okay lang po. Kaya ko po ‘to. Pasensya na kayo sa amin nay ha.
Pokwang: Alam nyo nay kahit ganito tayo, sobrang humahanga po ako sa inyo kasi nakayanan nyo pong tumayong mag-isa kahit iniwanan kayo ni tatay. Gusto ko balang araw na maging kasing tatag ninyo. Alagaan niyo ang mga puso niyo anak ha kasi yan tung totoong mag-papasaya sa inyo. Kasi hindi yan pwedeng paglaruan at kahit kailan, hindi niyo pwedeng dayain. Andito lang ang nanay. Hindi ko kayo pababayaan.

“Kanina pa kita tinitingnan. ang pangit mo kasi. The face of a broken-hearted.”

Alex: I knew na gusto niyang ibalik ang singsing, na ayaw na niya akong pakasalan. Before she does anything, inunahan ko na siya. Iniwan ko siya. She was relieved. So I checked upon her and I looked at her tweet. Sabi niya finally he left me. And I’ve never been so happy.

RB: Kung hindi mutual ang feelings nyo, pwede gawin mong mutual. Kung ayaw niya sa yo, ayawan mo rin siya.

Always remember na 4 Rs of moving on:

1. Return stuffs. (stuff lang)
Magkita kayo hindi para sa inyong final —… Magkita kayo para magsulian ng gamit. Lahat ng investments niyo, material or emotional ibalik niyo na yun.
2. Reverse bitterness.
Mag-isip ka ng mga bagay na pangit sa kanya, mga bagay na ayaw mo sa kanya.
3. Rebound.
Humanap ka ng kapalit. Kung gaano ka-controversial ang technique na ito, ganun din siya ka-effective.
4. Check the end of this post.

“I should be proud of you. You’re such a good student, even better than the teacher. I turned you into that but you turned me into this.”

RB: San ka ba? Dun sa girl sa past or dun sa girl sa present?

Tonton: I’m not like your grandfather. You guys love music and I don’t… I was the one who failed, not you.
Alex: I just wanted you guys to believe in me.
Tonton: Alex, natalo ka. Eh di natalo ka but we have to cut our losses. Tanggapin ang kahihiyan and stand up again. Better opportunities. Better people. And a better relationship.

Alex: There’s a girl out there I still need to say sorry to. Pero siya yung nag-ayos ng buhay ko. Siya ang nagpasaya sa akin and I wanna thank her for that.

Sandy: Tama na muna ang love. Quota na ako eh.

Alex: I wanted you as my girlfriend that night. I wanted that kiss. I loved you that night. I was real that night.

Sandy: Paano kung paiiyakin mo ako ulit?

Alex: Eh di ako mag-pupunas ng luha mo.
Sandy: Paano kung hindi tayo happy ending?
Alex: Eh di uulit-ulitin ko hanggang maging happy ending.

“Okay lang maging tanga eh. Kung in love, eh di inlove. Wala ka ng magagawa dun.”

RB: Ang pang-apat na R. Revenge. Mag-revenge ka sa past self mong wasak. Tama na yang paemo-emo. Masaya pa ang life. Mas masaya ang may kamomol. Pero ang mas masaya ay —-.

RB: Kasing sarap ng pagka-broken hearted ang pagkakaroon ng tunay na true love. Today is the day that the Lord has made.

“The best revenge is to live an awesome life.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“There’s more to life than love.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“The only stupid question is the question that is never asked.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“Hindi ako naniniwala sa fate, destiny at soul mates. Ang mundo ay binubuo ng mga pangyayaring random na kaganapan. Bahala ka sa buhay mo.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“90% ng problema mo ay imbento lang.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“Life is fun if you just find out how.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“TANDAAN: mahirap mafriendzone, pero madali lang gumanti!”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“Kapag sumablay ka, isipin mo na lang na nagsimula ka din naman sa wala at walang nagbago.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“TANDAAN: your mind is your weapon. Pagyamanin natin ito at magiging handa tayo sa gulo na dulot ng paghihimagsik ng puso at bird.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“Mga 3days-3weeks tapos unahan na yan mag-offline kunyari naputol connection ng internet pero naputol na yung mental and emotional connection.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

“Kapag si Aga Muhlach ang nanligaw, ready o hindi ready, Re-ready yan kasi gusto siya eh.”
― Ramon BautistaBakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo?: At Iba Pang Technique Kung Paano Makaka-Move On sa Wasak na Puso

Then, I suddenly feel like singing. Again.

By: Zia Quizon

Bilib ako sa dami ng naniniwala sa love song
Mga nagbubulag-bulagan at nag-iilusyon
Mga pa-simple na nagbabakasakaling abangers
Waiting forever, ‘di maka-get over

Bumabalik pa rin ang ubod na kulit na damdamin
Mahirap daw na ma-in-love, baliw-baliwan, as in
Hindi makayang tanggapin ang final offer na friendship
Wagas sa ‘yong isip, ang wish na relationship

pre-chorus:
well it’s complicated now, ‘di niya lang masabi sa’yo…
na wag ka nang umasa daw, pero yan lang ang totoo

Chorus:
OH NO, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN, FRIENDZONE
BA’T HINDI KA CRUSH NG CRUSH MO, DADADAN, DIDIDAW
WISH MO LANG NA MUTUAL ANG FEELINGS NIYO
OH NO, THERE’S MORE TO LIFE THAN LOVE
PAG HINDI KA CRUSH NG CRUSH MO, DADADAN, DIDIDAW
LIFE IS FUN BUT YOU JUST GOTTA FIND OUT HOW, OH…

Vamp: Doo-doodoodoo-doodoodoo-doodoodoo (4X)

Hanggang sa panaginip mo’y bitin pa rin ang istorya
Mahal mo siya, ang twist pala, mahal niya daw ay iba, waaahhh…
Ang peg mo lang ay teleseryeng happy ending ang kwento
pero pap’ano, why can’t you just let go?

bridge:
it’s complicated daw, wag mo nang asahan pa
pag “let’s be friends for now”, hanap ka na lang ng iba

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