True love stories: Men are superficial jerks!



I was never the pretty nor the popular one. I’ve always been just… average.

So it was no surprise that ever since grade school, my crushes would almost always have a crush on my best friend or another friend (or worse, a girl I disliked), which doubled or tripled the ouch factor.

Once, a guy I just met even told me that I was not pretty enough.


Cynical romantic

So over the years, and after a string of heartbreaks, I became a cynical romantic.

Any time I would start to have feelings for a guy, I would withdraw in fear half-expecting (and concluding) that it would just end in heartbreak.

For me, with the exception of my family and a very few close guy friends, most men were superficial jerks.


Amused at my unfriendliness

Austin was one of those exceptions.

I met him at work in 2009 or 2010 and although I was not exactly very friendly during our first meeting, he looked surprisingly amused by my unfriendliness.

I think he knew right then and there that I was a “pikon” person.


Tease and annoy

And sure enough, during the weeks that followed, he enjoyed teasing me and even annoying me!

We became fast friends. And the best part of it was he made me laugh. Occasionally, I would also confide in him about matters of the heart.He said he did not regret persistently teasing me and annoying me because accordingly to him, getting to know the real me was worth it. 

He said he was amazed on how sweet I was in real life and how calming I was when he talks to me. Immediately, I fell for all his sweet talks. 

Fast forward to April 2010. We both belong to the same team within the company. The friendship continued and the teasing even got worse because my office cubicle was right behind his. Or sometimes he would intentionally come to me when he arrives after dealership cover. 


Trusted confidante

He was still my trusted confidante and I think he was the only one brave enough to be more straightforward and not sugarcoat his advice to make me feel better.

He practically knew everything about my love life then!

I, on the other hand, being a little younger than him, secretly enjoyed being taken care of and occasionally scolding him or giving unsolicited advice about his past dating life.


The ‘what if’ question

And then came instances when different colleagues suddenly asked us the “what if” question. Like, what if we ended up together?

We found it so funny, we laughed so hard.

And he, being the “alaskador,” said I was not his type and that I’d be lucky if he courted me! Due to our closeness, we were often mistaken as a couple and people did not believe we weren’t dating because we were always together. 


Never ever?

Of course I was quick to answer back. He was a good looking Chinese guy and he’s the first handsome to ever attempted to date me. We normally date and go out after work. But we would never admit it to people. He never told me directly how he felt towards me so I just kept on waiting. I told myself that I am ready. With complete confidence and certainty, I said, “I would immediately say yes when he asks me to be his girlfriend!”

This was in 2010. 

Guess what? Sometime in 2011 or 2012 he got married. But not to me.


Romantic Movie Lines

Doing research in the internet about movie lines that are really sweet. Instead of getting bitter that I’m alone on Valentine’s due to the MIA moment of my date, I’d rather find happiness on my own to prevent going gaga over being alone. 

“You know what’s wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You’re chicken, you’ve got no guts. You’re afraid to stick out your chin and say, ‘Okay, life’s a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that’s the only chance anybody’s got for real happiness.'” -Paul Varjak (George Peppard) to Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) in Breakfast at Tiffany’s

What’s so special about Breakfast at Tiffany’s anyways? I heard its a great film and been featured in some recent movies like Pitch Perfect. But I couldn’t like it on my own. It’s too old. I don’t get enticed at all. 

“It seems right now that all I’ve ever done in my life is making my way here to you.” -Robert Kincaid (Clint Eastwood) to Francesca Johnson (Meryl Streep) in The Bridges of Madison County

I don’t really know this film. But if ever someone tells me this line? It’s a plus factor to considering him Mr. Right 🙂

“You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how.” -Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) to Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh) in Gone with the Wind

So this is where all the flirting began. I’ve been hearing good things about Gone with the Wind as well. I wonder how the film turned out to be…

“Love is too weak a word for what I feel – I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F’s, yes.” -Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) to Annie Hall (Diane Keaton) in Annie Hall

Superlative kind of love — trying to put words as explanation of what it meant, what the feeling meant, and how it felt. 

“If there’s any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it’s almost impossible to succeed, but…who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt.” -Celine (Julie Delpy) to Jesse (Ethan Hawke) in Before Sunrise

Guys simply do smooth-talking. But girls fall for it… every single time. 

“I love him and I don’t care what you think. I love him for the man he wants to be and I love him for the man he almost is.” -Dorothy Boyd (Renee Zellweger) talking to her sister about Jerry Maguire (Tom Cruise) in Jerry Maguire

All-time favorite, top-chart guy movie — Jerry Maguire. Oh how I love you too. 😀

“Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.” Romeo (Leonardo DiCaprio) talking to Juliet (Claire Danes) about their first kiss in Romeo and JulietI wish love stories are like the movies, overrated. But heart-felt.

Shakespeare did well on portraying a man in a dream. A delusional man, someone who doesn’t perfectly exist in the real world. Someone created in and by the mind. Someone we wish who was there for us, who would love us. But I didn’t wish for this exact same man. He’s deadly.  

“I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it.” -Seth (Nicolas Cage) to Cassiel (Andre Braugher) about Dr. Maggie Rice (Meg Ryan) in City of Angels

We turn out to be people who we’re not when we’re in love. We tend to say and do things we couldn’t imagine ever existed in our system, all because we are in love. 

“Michael, I love you. I’ve loved you for nine years. I’ve just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and, well, now, I’m just scared, so I realize this comes at a very inopportune time, but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. M-marry me. Let me make you happy.” -Julianne Potter (Julia Roberts) to Michael O’Neal (Dermot Mulroney) in My Best Friend’s Wedding

I wish there was a quicker consolation for best friends who get their hearts broken for falling in love with a person they had as a friend for a long time. I wish people would know that there’s no such thing as a best friend alone for 2 people of the opposite sex. Its either they both end up falling for each other or one falls for the other. It was never as mutual as it seems. People who OFTEN spend time together ends up falling. And it’s just so sad. 

“I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you.” –Frances ‘Baby’ Houseman (Jennifer Grey) to Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) in Dirty Dancing

I wish men are as perfect as they are in the movies. So sad. It’s all for show. 

What is the best feminine wash to use?



The answer is easy… water

In the days of our lolas, there were no brands like Lactacyd, GynePro, pH Care, Carefree, Summer’s Eve or Betadine.

And our mothers and grandmothers did just fine.


Losing the natural ability to cleanse itself

But somewhere down the line, women started to become conscious of the funny smell down there and that’s when the first bottle of feminine wash was sold.

Women began to use all sorts of perfumed washes, vaginal douche and panty liners.

All these contributed to the changes in the woman’s natural ability to cleanse herself and maintain normal vaginal health.


Prone to sweat

The external portion of the vagina is called the vulva.

It is composed of skin with hair follicles.

Naturally, this area is prone to sweat, perspiration and discharges from the vagina.


Care down there

The normal pH of skin is close to neutral (4.5 – 5.5).

The best and cheapest way to keep the vulva clean is by washing with water and MOST importantly, keeping the area dry and cool.

Wearing tight undergarments, panty liners, jeans and stockings will increase the temperature in the area, thus making the woman prone to perspiration and bacterial growth.


Wash it then dry it!

Some patients are proud to say that they always wash with water and soap.

Sure, it is a good habit. But they often forget to dry their vulva.

Some would rather put their underwear on even if the vulva is a bit wet because they fear that “tissue paper is bad for them.”

Moist, hot and dark… three words that describe the vulva…and that is also how bacteria grow best.


The kinds of wash to use

If you have to use a feminine wash, choose one with the least amount of chemicals.

Choose an acidic wash if you are always wet due to prolonged “white menses” or ovulation.

A neutral wash is best for women who are already very dry, like women in their menopausal years.


Neutral and antibacterial variants

And for occasions where there is yellowish or greenish discharge, this means there is already bacterial growth. You need an antiseptic or antibacterial wash.

This is also the same wash you would use for the days that you have your period.

For all the other days not mentioned above, then water is a good choice. It does not contain harmful perfumes or chemicals.

And the best part is…it’s free.

Steer Clear of Burnout


You know the feeling. You started out excited, bursting with enthusiasm and energy. The inspiration was coming fast and furious. But lately you’re feeling a little, well, tired. Your creativity feels like it’s drying up almost as quickly as the sleep deprivation is gaining ground.

Warning — you’re on the path to burnout!

As an entrepreneur, you work hard because you love what you do. It’s you out there making things happen. But remember that the saying, “The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long,” is especially true for entrepreneurs.

Here are five quick and easy ways to assess if you’re on the path to entrepreneurial burnout — and what to do about it:

1. You’re getting less than six hours of sleep a day. Sleep is one of the most important tools in an entrepreneur’s toolbox. Think there’s too much to get done and sleep can be passed up? Think again. Arianna Huffington, founder of The Huffington Post, calls sleep deprivation, “the root of all bad decisions.” Sleep gives you the refresh you need for new ideas and it gives your body the reset it needs to stay healthy.

Tips: It’s best to wait a few hours after dinner before going to sleep. The same goes for alcohol, caffeine and nicotine, according to the Mayo Clinic. Keep your phone away from your bedside or consider putting it in do not disturb mode. Sleep studies have shown that the chimes and beeps and the light of the screen interrupt your sleep.

2. You are chronically the “yes” man/woman. Yes” can sometimes be a dangerous word. Say “yes” too much and you’re going to get overwhelmed. Take some time before committing to a new client, job or even personal obligation to figure out if it’s really in your overall best interest. Sometimes saying “no” helps you set healthy boundaries and results in better quality work that aligns with your values.

Tips: Think long term. Will committing to this person, event or activity be a decision you regret? One key trigger word to watch out for if you’re a chronic “over-committer” is should. If you find the true feeling behind your “yes” is more like a reluctant feeling of “should,” set your boundaries and say no.  

3. You are neglecting your health. If you’re interested in living a long, successful life, you’re going to need your brain and body to function at their best. And innovation is one of the pillars of entrepreneurism. Entrepreneur and Biggest Loser trainer Jillian Michaels stresses that creating time for fitness in your busy schedule is crucial to maintaining a healthy body and a sharp mind.

Tips: Don’t make a mountain out of molehill. For most of us health is about simple, frequent choices, not a drastic lifestyle makeover. What about swapping out fast food for a healthier option, such as a lean deli sandwich? Can you take your conference call while also taking a short walk? Exercise is a great stress relief to help you avoid burnout, too.

4. You aren’t having funWhile every day might not be a walk in the park, fun is an important part of creativity. As Mary Poppins once advised you as a child, “in every job that’s to be done, there is an element of fun.” Her film’s creator, Walt Disney, was the champion of putting fun and fantasy into his brilliantly successful company.

Tips: Let go of the idea that working long hours is a sign of a great entrepreneur. Work smarter, not harder. Take a little time out during your day to laugh, play and enjoy some aspect of your life. Fun is essential to recharge your batteries and stave off burnout.

5. You are an island. Simon and Garfunkel taught us the follies of thinking you are a rock or an island. Every successful person needs a tribe. If you’re working in isolation, like so many entrepreneurs, find a group to plug into that inspires, pushes and makes you have some fun.

Tips: Get involved. Author and entrepreneur Seth Godin wrote an entire book about the importance of interacting with the right people, Tribes. It’s about ways you can connect your personal leadership with your ideas, and those of others. Start something new or help fill a leadership void, but find your tribe. There are lots of organizations both for your professional pursuits and your personal passions.

Love beyond death


Makes me wanna cherish all the people in my life, whether it be friends, family and enemies. 

A true story proving eternal love. (ThinkStock)

My dad won my mom over by being both a gentleman and a bit of a jerk (but not at the same time).

The first time they met, he made an impression on her because he stood up when she entered the room, like any chivalrous dude would do. And then, he got my mom to go out with him by honking his car horn at her—bip-bip-bip—over and over while following her on the road as she was walking home.

He didn’t stop the racket until she agreed to have dinner with him.

I don’t remember the story behind my parents. Whether he won her over a honk of horn, if ever he courted her and did some grand gestures. All I know is that I was made of love one night while they were still in college. Bit of a shocker. 

Not alone after death

They were married for 26 years when my dad died on Father’s Day 12 years ago. He’d been sick for a long time and we were already expecting the end.

That didn’t make it any easier, though, especially on my mom.

She chose to take my dad’s ashes home with her instead of leaving the urn in a columbarium. The ashes are now in a wooden urn which sits on my mother’s dresser in her bedroom. That way, she wouldn’t be completely alone.

And my dad has made sure of that.

Dad replies from beyond the grave

A day after my father’s death, my mom was turning their room upside down, looking for the papers for my dad’s funeral plan.

It wasn’t in the briefcase where it was supposed to be—my mom, brother and uncle all looked separately, and none of them could find the papers.

In desperation, my mom asked my dad for help, and he replied in his usual quiet way. When my mom looked in the briefcase again, the papers were right there, on top of the pile, in the place where they all looked before.

Sending out handwritten instructions

My dad did it again months later. And this time, he did it with his odd sense of humor. My mother had to drive somewhere but she couldn’t figure out how to get there.

Me, I have the sense of direction of a teaspoon so I was no help there.

When my mom took out her wallet from her bag, she found a note in my dad’s handwriting, with detailed directions to the place where she was going. And at the end of the note, he had one last piece of advice for my mom, who tends to yammer on when she’s in the car (and who also doesn’t pay attention to street signs).

My dad wrote: “Concentrate on driving and don’t talk too much.”

A different set of directions for me

His directions brought my mom straight to where she had to go; no wrong turns, no stopping to ask for directions.

He did it to me, too, about two years later, but with a different set of directions.

The day before a job interview, I was getting ready by thinking of what to wear (that’s all I did to get ready for job interviews back then).

When I was arranging my bag for the next day, I found a handwritten note from my dad.

It was a list of questions that he said I should ask my interviewer. I was supposed to ask the interviewer about a detailed job description, benefits and working hours. I brought that list with me and had the list memorized by the time of my interview.

Eternal love

To comfort myself after my dad died, I imagined him hugging me whenever I went through a rough patch; I gave his memory a voice in my head and talked to myself the way I thought he would speak to me.

But my mom didn’t have to imagine. She didn’t have to strain to squeeze out a memory of my dad’s face. Because as he had demonstrated, he never left her.

Remember that thing that they say about love being eternal? I believe that with all my heart. I only have to look at my parents to prove it.

I know that even though my dad has this series of irritating attitude, to stay together for 26 years after 5 kids is really a big mutual decision to make. I have always admired how my parents are still in happily in love, still sweet to each other and talking things out together. I love the idealism that they show us kids of how relationships should be. And for that, I really admire my parents. 

I don’t want a memory as lonely as this. I don’t want to remember anybody as melodramatic as this could get. But I sure do know one thing: What ever life may bring — we should make sure that we use that enough chances to make our loved ones feel the love we have for them. 

Why men keep on forgetting anniversaries



Sorry, Science is on His Side in This Argument

Sigh. Your guy showed up on your anniversary (or your birthday or Valentine’s Day or whatever the special occasion might be) empty-handed and completely clueless, and you’re mad. His excuses might just make you even more enraged, but he’s got one that’s kind of legit: science.

According to a new Norwegian study, men really are worse at remembering than women. The research asked 48,000 people to report how well they remembered things and found that men do tend to forget more than women. In even less encouraging news, men proved to be just as forgetful whether they were 30 or 60.

The research is interesting, but it’s important to note that the study didn’t directly test memory itself but analyzed people’s questions about memory. So, men reported having poorer memories, but it’s based on their own self-reporting. Ahem, so maybe they only claim to remember the things they want to remember? (Like, every score of the World Series for the past 47 years, even when he’s only lived through 26 of them, but not, say, the birthday of you, his only girlfriend. Ugh.)

Plus, here’s a potential flaw in your guy’s argument that he’s just not biologically inclined to remember things: There have been several inventions over the course of time, including paper calendars, calendars on your computer, calendars on your smartphone, and reminders you can set on the latter two to help you remember things. I think you can figure it out, boys.

Is your guy good about remembering dates? Are you? Do you get mad if he forgets?


Shutting Off

On this fine long weekend that I chose to stay at home, I was invited by my sister to watch “Frozen”. 

It funny how I saw myself as in Elsa when she successfully shut off people from her life just to keep them from danger. In my case, I didn’t really shut people off just because I wanted to keep them safe from me but more on keeping “me” safe from them. This feeling is selfishness. I get easily sensitive over things that matter between me and my family, whenever they say something, they comment on something – it all hurts me.