It’s never easy to go through a break-up. As much as you want to be in a relationship with someone you care for, there are times when things have run their course and separation is inevitable. Here are 6 tell-tale signs.
1. His career comes first.
To 27-year-old business development and operations manager Beatrice, there were cracks in her six-year relationship even before she broke up with James. “He was almost done with med school and set for graduation,” she begins. “He was planning on going back to the US and there were absolutely no signs of him taking our relationship to the next level and his medical career was always his priority.”
2. Your goals and his goals don’t turn into shared goals.
For 23-year-old copywriter Sally, her first relationship ran for 18 months. She laments that there were signs even before she entered into the relationship with John that it was going to be fleeting. “I always knew that it wasn’t going to last,” she relates, “our goals and outlooks were simply incompatible. We were complete opposites. Still, we enjoyed each other’s company, and though I had more to lose, I decided to give it a shot. Why waste a chance at love?”
3. He makes life-changing plans without consulting you.
Even as their individual relationships began to crumble, each of these ladies attacked their problems in different ways. “When I found out last year that he was no longer taking his internship here in the Philippines after graduation,” Beatrice notes, “I asked him right then what was going to happen to us. We then decided to just spend the last few months together before he went abroad and let our relationship die a natural death.”
4. You attempt a long distance relationship.
Adding further context to her tale, Beatrice adds, “We tried going on a long distance relationship in our first two years together and it was tough. We both weren’t up for it anymore.”
5. Your efforts to be there for him freak him out.
Sally, for her part, tried to be the stronger person for her sake and John’s. “I’d always find time to be with him, talk to him, and let him pour out all his troubles,” she says. “When he lost his job, I even helped him look for opportunities. I prepared a big surprise for his birthday. I thought it would relieve him of pressure, but apparently, it made him even more insecure.”
6. You can’t count the number of times you’ve broken up and reconciled.
Beatrice shares: “I found out that he was leaving for good in November 0f 2012 but he actually flew off five months after. I was given enough time to grieve and prepare myself for it. Also, in our six-year relationship, we had already broken up 10 times. It wasn’t exactly a healthy relationship and it was really exhausting to maintain.”