I thought that the strongest feelings I have is for the previous boyfriend I had who did nothing but to take me for granted. He used to love me. But somewhere along the way, he changed his mind. I gave him everything he needed because I thought that was love. I thought that the love I should have is selfless and sacrificing, just like what the Lord did for us. But only now I understand that I am no God. I couldn’t give that kind of love.
After that failed relationship, I told myself to NEVER fall in love again. I know that if there is someone for me, the Lord will not fail in bringin’ us together. I wouldn’t search for him but instead, I want him to find me. One day I felt so depressed and prayed to the Lord that if there’s someone for me, bring lead him to me to make me understand why it never worked out with the previous one – why in spite of so much love I gave, when someone falls out of love, its never gonna make him stay. I lost everything when I lost him – confidence and belief in oneself. I thought I would never fall in love again because I couldn’t be deserving enough for anybody else. I became uglier, I looked so stressed and problematic and I didn’t want to fix myself.
But the Lord is great! I will praise Him forever because of this. He lead a person to me, someone who noticed me even when I was my ugliest. Someone stood by when even when I have nothing. I found the worth I lost for years and now I am very thankful I have him.
It was that summer I found you. But months after, when I told you this, I was so happy to have heard you say, “No, I thank God I found you instead.”