To my LA – do you know who you are?

v

One day, I met you. The next day, I fear you. For I know the moment I saw you, you had me at hello. No words could describe how I feel that moment. Its probably some sort of fear for which I know is caused by pain. I told myself that I do not want to undergo that same trauma again. So I just kept on waiting – for I know the feeling will fade in time. 

x

As time passes, I realize that it is not you who’s lucky to have me – it’s me feeling blessed having to met someone like you. Materially, there’s nothing we could brag about you, no riches, no material thing to show off to people. But what else is there to brag about but this feeling you make me feel? This overwhelming feeling of attention, concern and love you give? What more could I ask for?

One day, you will find out that all those things people keep on gossiping about us, all those people who are out to get us and stop us, are actually signs that we shouldn’t be together. Not because we don’t match materially, or in social status but because I do not deserve you for I am very broken and rotten because of my past.

xz

Maybe one day, someday, God will give us the chance to be together – when its the right time, with the right perception and mindsets of people. I don’t want to keep my hopes up but I know in my heart that its all I ever have to keep this going. I don’t want to let go. But sometimes, its better to wake up to reality. 

z

Will you ever miss me when I’m gone? I just wonder. 

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