After spending the whole weekend revamping you (YUHHH THIS IS THE BEST I CAN DO) I don’t know now. 

Even if I know I have moved some of my favorite articles in my other linked blog, well at some point I feel like there’s still a mix up. Some sense of inconsistency. I just hope I maintain it this time. 🙂 

Good luck to me. 

Thank you. It was very therapeutic. 



Someday, someone will come into my life, praying for him to be God’s best sent to me, and will make me wear one of these 🙂

15 14 13  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

An Open Letter To The People Who Still Don’t Know What They’re Doing With Their Lives


Hi, guys, remember me?

Not so long ago, I was just like you: nervous about the future, terrified of what was coming, paralyzed with fear that I might do the wrong thing and never find the right thing.

Frozen and unknowing, I was you. Hell, I know the mud you’re standing in better than anyone. I’ve been there – in the thick of it. The only difference is that you’re still stuck.

The future is horrifying. It’s scary. It’s gigantic and so very, very vast. It’s a black hole that’s built to fit anything and everything, but the problem is, what do you put in it – and how do you make it stick?

When I was 21 and graduating, timidly placing one foot in front of the other as I made my way across the stage, I felt the black hole descend upon me, engulfing me and swallowing me whole.

I felt it hug tightly and comfortably to my curves as it lay across my lungs, making it harder and harder to find fresh air. “What now?” reverberated off the dome of my head, sending vibrations down through my toes and pinching me at the tips of my fingers.

It hurt then and sometimes it hurts now, both the knowing and the not-knowing of what you want to do, who you want to be.

For so many years, we’re ushered through schooling, the path lies before us so plainly.Graduate from kindergarden, make a papier-mâché animal in second grade, learn about puberty in sixth grade, learn how to use a locker in seventh grade, play sports in high school, apply to three “safety” schools and four “reach schools,” take the SATs, wear white on your high school graduation day. Spend a semester abroad, graduate with honors. We’re coached through everything, and when it’s time, just looking at the deep end is enough to send us into hysterics, let alone actually wading into it.

We call it “Failure to Launch,” as if tacking a phrase to the end of our inabilities is enough to make them mainstream and trendy.

Oh, we’re not afraid to fail, we’re just Failing to Launch; my doctor told me that my ‘Failure to Launch’ is totally normal and nothing to worry about.

So instead of attacking it, we sensationalize it. We make movies about it. We dress it up in pretty bows and we give it a soft name, not too shy, not too aggressive. We’re inundated with media condoning and glorifying our inability to grow up, to leave mom and dad’s, to want a life for ourselves that is entirely our own.

And suddenly we’re 25 and still Failing to Launch, 36 and still swimming, 54 and still living off waiting tables with dreams of something bigger. At what point are we no longer failing and just failures?

I know that the “big” picture is just too big to fill sometimes. I know that knowing what’s next is next to impossible. I know that your only plan was not to have one – and now you need one. I know that all the “what ifs” and “what nows” just feel like trudging murky water.

I know that you really, honestly don’t know. I know that you’ve Failed to Launch then and you’re still Failing to Launch now. I know that you’re terrified of getting it wrong. I know that there are just too many pieces to fit the puzzle. I know, I know, I know.

But you need to start somewhere. You don’t need to take a leap, just a little shuffle step. You don’t need to run wild, just maybe jog.

You need to know there are possibilities – that there are answers out there waiting for you to come and find them, that there are empty desks and incomplete teams and people waiting for a coworker like you. You need to know that yes, you will fail and you will hiccup and you will make mistakes and you will be late when you should have been on time.

You need to know that saying the wrong thing and doing the wrong thing, and saying “yes” when you should have said “no,” and going right when you should have gone left – it’s all okay.

We’re not hardwired to know or to make sense of it all. We don’t have the ability to look at the here and now and predict the future. We have to do it blindly, to make it up as we go, to make a little sense out of a big thing. We’re programmed just to try.

If I could tell you anything – impart any knowledge – it would be to give yourself the chance. Maybe it means moving to a new city, maybe it means breaking your lease, maybe it means trying something you were always a little too scared to go after. Just give yourself the chance.

You can’t lose at something that you haven’t even started yet, you can’t gamble all your money away if you haven’t even laid your cards on the table yet.

Try. Take chances. Get confused. Make mistakes. Screw up. Swerve left. Arrive late. Leave early. Blubber through. Forget your notes. Whether you’re 18 or 40, I know there is a part, somewhere deep down, buried by fear and frustration, that wants more.

The so-so life isn’t always going to cut it and just skating through won’t always be satisfying. At some point, whether you let yourself believe it or not, you’re going to needmore.

There’ll be a grumble, deep inside you, a low rhythmic moan that slowly, but steadily rises, searching for something to feed it, to dull the ache, to quiet the whispers.

Do yourself a favor and start feeding it now. Take little steps. Start small, but have faith that you’ll grow.

I know that it’s scary. I still think back on that time, when the hole was so big and I tried everything to fill it, and I shudder. Knowing what you want is the hardest question you’ll ever ask yourself – and the hardest question you’ll ever have to answer.

But here’s the thing: You can never get it completely wrong.

So, I don’t hope you find what you’re looking for – I know you will.

I remember when I was in college, I failed so many subject. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to graduate alongside my friends — now that would be embarrassing. Not to mention my parents who would go ballistic over more expensive subjects they have to pay. I remember the time when I just want the ground to swallow me whole and alive to forget that I am indeed in so much pressure of living a 4 year life in college. I had a boyfriend back then. I didn’t tell him either how much I was worried about school since he was also busy doing the same. 

I was one of those who graduated early, 20. When I graduated I didn’t worry much about the future. I had mine pre-planned. School ended a month the actual graduation and I remember I started working early right after it. Or at least I remember, I wasn’t that worried because I got employed right away and that I was starting with my first job, 3 days right after graduation. Unlike the other batchmates I have who opted to rest first after, I immediately joined the workforce and I was so proud I didn’t have to go through all the hassle and worry of unemployment since I had one myself. 

7 years after graduating, I even finished a few courses from my Master’s degree, I still do not know what I really want to do in life. I just know I am good at auditing and doing QA. But I never really asked myself what I really want to do. I was too lazy figuring out which dream I want to chase, which career I want to pursue. 

Until now, I kept thinking and asking myself: Do I even have one?

I’ll try not to break up



“There were so many issues, to name a few: I haven’t met his parents yet; he has so many plans and I’m not even part of it; he will work abroad but he never gave me an assurance that it would be us until the end; his friends don’t like me and I felt like he doesn’t care.”

On the contrary to this excerpt, he haven’t met my family. He had no plans before he met me. And now that he has, I don’t see myself anywhere in it. According to him, future plans for us are not until 10 years. Since I have also been in a relationship with him for 20 months now, soon we’ll be celebrating our 2nd years together. So mga 8 years na lang hihintayin ko. (Pampalubag loob).

He surely has a lot of plans. Pero parang walang masusunod or nasusunod sa mga yon. I remember him saying his family doesn’t like me because I am too high maintenance or too maarte for them. And I feel like he’s really having a hard time because of that. He couldn’t bridge the gap, just because he’s not doing anything to cap it also. Nice one.

“Well I guess he has his own reasons. But whatever his reasons are, I would find them hard to understand. I only want simple things in life; I only want him to stand up for me especially that he’s leaving the country soon. But I think he doesn’t know the word EFFORT.”

The last statement hit me hard. Hindi naman sa wala siyang effort but his definition of effort is just very different from mine.

You maybe wondering what the hell I am talking about. Sa susunod ko na ieexplain. Current feelings ko lang kase to. Ktnxbye.

At 26

At 26,

I finally came across the idea why things are happening to me.

Finally I found out finally as to why stuff are happening to me. It’s either I am too stubborn to listen to advices and people telling me no. Or, I am an explorer wanting to figure things out for myself. Normally, though people would tell me to stop, I have that urge to still do the things which people told me not to.

And that is me… Stubborn.

to be continued.

Talking about my papa: and its not even Father’s day


It has been a year since I found out that my family is not so perfect at all. And its been a year since I found out even the most trusted man you have on your list ca still surprisingly break your heart. 

You see, I’ve been brokenhearted from a past relationship and since then, I’ve almost lost my trust in every man there is in this world. I’ve always believed that ALL men are the same, putting an exception and disclaimer to my dad and to my only brother of course. 

I can describe my dad as very wise and distinctive. He was very special to me even if we had been indifferent to each other for some time. We’ve always had different perspective on things. But at the end of the day, I knew one thing. We loved each other very much.

He was a private man who enjoyed the peace of silence and the stimulation of intellectual conversation.

He expressed his honest opinion even when other people’s views differed.

He was a man who honored his religious beliefs.


Last December of 2013, my family and I sat around a table from a nice restaurant we tried in Marikina. It was then that I found out about what mistake he committed to our family. I was very hurt. But I still believed he needed someone to understand him in our family when everybody lost faith in him – and that was me. 

Throughout his 48 years, he was a pillar of strength. He was always there for us when we needed him.

Although he didn’t show his feelings, he always took interest in what we had to share with him.

Instilling values

His strict rules in the house were his own way of shaping our values and, quite oddly, allowing our unique personalities to develop.

Papa always left us with such fond memories, interwoven with our wonderful and lasting experiences as a happy family.

He never let us down, even when we were going through tough and hard times.


Every Christmas and New Year’s Day, he made it a point to give us the best, even if he had to put in a lot of extra work.

I especially cherish our holiday toasts to one another with good wishes for the coming year led, of course, by my papa.

We continue the tradition to this day, even if he has hurt us in a way.

And I remember him smiling and telling us that the New Year will always be better than the last.


I am glad that the issue ended in the past year. Now, we are trying to move on and forget the past. Thanks to the Lord for sustaining and keeping this relationship in our family. 

9 Reasons (you may not know) why Christian single ladies can’t find their Boaz, David or Joseph


I’ve gotten a lot of one-on-one questions about this from BOTH MEN AND WOMEN and I figured it was time to write about it. Before I write another line though, it’s important that I say a few things and get some things out of the way.

A. This article is mainly for mature Christian single women. Mature. Christian. Women. Why? Because Girls might get offended or not understand but a mature Christian woman will probably get it and take the knowledge.


B. A woman’s relationship status does not define her, so being single is not a disease or an indication of something “wrong” with her. So this article is not to list a bunch of reasons why you are at fault for not being married …as if marriage was something you just bought at the store. I wouldn’t do that. I respect and care about women’s issues more than there is space to write about here. As a daughter of God, he is working out your story beautifully, so bask in that. This is however, for Christian ladies who are ready for marriage but frustrated that they can’t find the right guy even though there seems to be options.

C. I write this respectfully but I will write it as honestly as possible as a man and as someone who knows a thing or two about relationships. I’ll tell you probably like no one has told you before. So the tone may be a bit direct not because I am brash but because I am writing to Women not girls and one thing I know about women is that contrary to the opinion that they want you to beat around the bush, when it comes to things that are really important, they want you to tell them like it is. They would rather know now, shed a tear or two and start working ASAP to move out, move up, move on or move forward so they don’t waste more time doing the same thing and not getting the outcomes they want.

D. All your single girlfriends AND male friends should read this.

Ok so here we go.  Why can’t our wonderful Christian sisters find their Boaz, David or Joseph?

1. Many Christian ladies want a man that “knows where he is going”… but God’s men usually don’t have a clue:  Think about that for a moment. Think through the Bible…all the great men that had relationships with God and who he used and blessed….they usually didn’t have a clue about where they were going and (here is the even crazier part) even if they had a clue, their lives for a long time did not reflect that great place God said he was taking them. Just think about it. All the way from Abraham …going to a land he did not know; Joseph having a dream that people would bow down to him but became a slave and then a prisoner; David who was anointed to be King and then lived the next 15 years in the wilderness as a fugitive; Peter the great fisher of men who was barely able to catch fish.

These men would have had a rough time finding a wife today. Could you imagine?

Abraham calling sister Sarah aside after church and saying “Errrmmm Sarah you know I love you right? Soooo God wants to take us somewhere …but I have no idea where. Wanna marry me and come?”

David too. “Look baby…I really care about you and want to spend the rest of my life taking care of you… In fact, I’ve just been anointed King…buuutttt I’m kinda living in the bushes right now and on the run from the King I’m supposed to replace.”

Or Joseph. “Look Jill, God has shown me many dreams that people will bow down to me and I’ll be a great leader. But right now I wash dishes in Potiphar’s house and I’m a slave boy there”

God’s men don’t“always” have a direction or know the details. So stop looking for men who have it all figured out!

Here is the solution though… is the good news. Here is what you SHOULD be looking for:  Men who can be LED by God. (Rom 8:14) Don’t look for a man who already has the best laid plans. Look for one who knows how to follow directions from the best planner.


2. Many ladies approach relationships from the perspective of “Low Risk, High Reward”: Meaning, they want to get the absolute best man with the least amount of risk. (And I’m not just talking about finances here)They don’t want to put themselves out there at all.

They want the man to take ALL the risks…to be utterly convinced he wants to be with them before they open up about who they really are. You know who you are…You act like YOU are the ONLY prize in the equation. He dodoesn’tnow anything about your background but you turned into a private investigator to make sure he is good enough for you. You are financially irresponsible and an impulsive spender, you’re spending insane percentages of your income on your hair, shoes, bags, and your “package” but you want a man who knows how to make and keep money. You have not grown your faith or prayer life to where it needs to be  but you want a demon chasing, tongue speaking, Bible spitting warrior of a husband…because “he is the leader of the home”.

You’ve dated a bunch of losers that didn’t work out but he is no good because he has had several failed relationships too? You want to see him as he is but you cover yourself up in perfectly filtered Instagram pictures, hair extensions, push up bras, makeup and layers of stuff that make it impossible to see who you really are. You are lazy with not much follow-through but you want a man who can stay up all night working on a project. If he put that spotlight on you, would YOU make the cut?

In essence, many Christian ladies say they have faith but they don’t. They say that God is their source but they are lying. They say that they trust God’s will for their future but they are lying. They don’t. They put their trust in a man. What kind of job he has/can get. How much he is making or can make. They want to make sure he has the “ability to provide”. They want him to have his life utterly figured out…

But I have met many great men who haven’t found the employment they have the potential to get. I have met many others who were living it up until the economy crashed.  I have met some who had it all but God insisted they give it up to go and further the gospel.


3. Many ladies forget that good Christian men look for women who share similar non-romantic, non-spiritual values: Sure he should be romantic and sure he must share those spiritual values but eerrmmm ladies…these Christian brothers are looking for those other character traits as well that speak to the OPERATION of your possible lives together. Dependability, thriftiness, work ethic, time management, hard work, follow-through and so on.

One of the first things we learn about Ruth for example, was her work ethic. ( Ruth chapter 2). She knew how to pull her hair back, forget about her nails, roll up her sleeves and get on the grind. She worked really hard and even when she got the attention of the “well established guy with the sensitive heart” she didn’t stop working. She took the break that he offered her and went back to work.

That’s how you earn a man’s respect…when you can show him that what he HAS does not define who you are.

Here is the icing on that cake. Just because Ruth could get down and work, didn’t mean she couldn’t look pretty and tidy up (Ruth 3:3)


4. Many ladies pre-qualify their leads: This is one of the most CRITICAL reasons. In fact, there is a powerful 2 part series on just that HERE:


5. Good Christian men know their worth too and don’t want to settle either: Yea ladies…men are understanding their worth a bit more too.Christian men are getting more and more comfortable attending relationship seminars and getting information about seeking God’s face for a wife. They are realizing how powerful of an impact a wife has on the outcome of their lives and ministry, and they are spending more time trying to see what is beneath the surface. They know that a woman can make or break everything. They realize that a woman’s desires can accelerate him towards purpose or derail him.

They are praying more and they are realizing that while you still remain a prize, they too are precious in God’s eyes and want to do right by him. They are realizing that a wife can make or break a man.

Yes they are praying for a Ruth but they are also praying against Delilah as well.


6. Many Christian ladies have no testimony with men: A few years ago, an older friend (a number of years older than me) came up to me after a church program and asked me about a lady in my church. Who she was and what she was like as a person.

I didn’t stop talking for minutes. They were married about a year later.

Same thing happened to Ruth. (Ruth Chapter 2 from Vs 3) Boaz came back from a trip, saw Ruth and asked his Foreman “Who is that and who does she belong to”, to which the foreman answered and gave a fantastic testimony of her character. (See Boaz’s response in Vs 11)

Here is a secret ladies, you know how you like a guy and try to keep it to yourself until your girlfriends force a confession out of you? We guys don’t do that. The moment we think we are interested in you, we are telling someone and we are asking around about you….and we are asking our MALE friends/mentors. Because we know they will tell us like it is and of course won’t spread it all around church and make things suddenly awkward or cause all the sisters to start giving the dirty eye next Sunday. Bro code.

The truth is that even Christian ladies can be toxic sometimes when it comes to how they treat men who they don’t consider a prospect. You forget that when the real prospect comes and is interested in you, he will ask other men…some who may never have approached you but who have watched you from afar, and yes some who may have had an interest in you but you didn’t like. How did you handle those situations? (You totally need to read that article link above…especially the 2nd part of that series)


7. Many Christian women want a Proverbs 31 Man: That’s not a typo. Pick up your Bible and read Proverbs 31 again with fresh eyes… from the  perspective of the character of that woman…and you will see that those qualities are the ones that many women are looking for in a man when they should be busy developing those qualities themselves.

Single Christian men are reading that passage looking for those qualities in a woman, and women are putting that passage down and instead looking for those qualities in a man.


8. Many Christian ladies want to be married but they are not truly ready to be led: They want to marry a boyfriend but not a husband. They want only a partner but not a leader. They want an emotional prenup that things will always be 50:50. They say they will concede authority to God himself but in their heart, they are not willing to be led by his representative in the home. What I am about to say next I say with the utmost respect to women.

Men were created to lead at home. Now, with that leadership comes accountability to God meaning that God holds him accountable and will punish him first for bad leadership. But a man cannot be accountable for a woman he can’t lead….and a Christian man does not want to be over anything he can’t be accountable to God about.


9. Many young married Christian women are painting a fairy tale picture of marriage to their single ladies

Many young married women are doing a major disservice to single women. These young married women create a fairy tale picture of weddings and marriage to their single friends. They love being the center of attention and talk up how dreamy it is. Perfect Instagram photos, perfect wedding photos, expensive glamorous weddings, perfect Facebook updates, photos and so on. Is there anything wrong with that? No. It would just help a lot more when married young women keep it real with their sisters and tell them that the wedding day does not make the marriage. It would help a whole lot more if they sit their single friends down and talk about the importance of a praying wife, a strong wife, a submissive wife (to a Godly man)  and how contrary to popular opinion, the faith of a wife is both a weapon for the family and its defense as well. Instead, they get their single sisters all dreamy eyed and waiting for a perfect story and a perfect man…waiting for KalEl from planet Krypton with the big “S” on his chest and a red cape, when they should look at Clark Kent from Planet earth.


Sisters, God has a beautiful story of love written for you. Am I saying settle? No way. But I am saying look at these men through the eyes of Christ. Get your pride out of the way. Don’t define your marital success by how well your wedding day or “lifestyle” stacks up with other women.  Most importantly, start seeing yourself as a true (not just perceived) gift from God that can bring God’s favor and blessings into your husband’s life because that’s what you are. So work to BECOME that and I truly truly wish you a love-filled, Christ centered happy marriage when it does happen.

My December 30, 2014

I spent the first 43 minutes of the 2nd to the last day of the year crying. NO matter how much emotions can be exhausting, this is the perfect night to let them start pouring. 

I wanted to cry my heart out as I looked back on the past year that has come. And I realized I couldn’t bear finish my entry because I am too weak to speak of it. 

I get hurt too.

Two Become One: An Inspiring Story



My parents are literally East meets West, a Chinese and an American. When they met one another in the Philippines, they were from two distinctly different cultures brought together by a common love for Jesus Christ and the desire to serve him. Now married for nearly 41 years, and still in love (more so than ever before), it is their identity in Christ — as one — that has kept them together.

While I was cleaning out old albums, I came across a published narrative of how God brought them together, and I was so blessed to read their story again. I’m hoping you will feel the same way…

“Whatever you ask in my name, that will I do that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.” John 14:13-24


As I meditated on this passage one morning in December 1971, I was confident that if I asked anything in the name of Jesus, he would do it. There was great peace in my heart as  I prayed, “Lord, allow me to meet my future wife. I am tired of dating girls and wasting time.”




I met Deonna in Janauary at the weekly Friday night meeting of Campus Crusade for Christ. She had arrived in the Philippines on November 21 as a member of the Crossroads, a musical team for Asia of the aforementioned Christian organization.

At that time, I never imaged that she was the Lord’s answer to my prayer. There were two incidents, however, which prompted me to become better acquainted with her. The first occurred when my younger sister, Beth, went shopping with her. Beth commented afterwards, “she is so simple and wise in her shopping.”

The other happened a week after our encounter. The Crossroads and I were having dinner together. As we were sharing our experiences with the Lord, I noticed that Deonna had a deep comprehension of life. She showed great spiritual discernment in what she was saying. I talked with her again at the next Friday night meeting. That evening, I asked her for a date on Sunday afternoon.

Our first date was a unique experience for me. My original plan was to show her some interesting places in the greater Manila area and get-to-know her at the same time. However, a few days before Sunday, a pastor-friend invited me to speak in his church on the same afternoon that I was to be with Deonna. I accepted the invitation. Not being well-acquainted with Deonna, I didn’t know what she would think about my acceptance of the speaking engagement. I hoped she would be willing to minister with me. I waited until Sunday to tell her. When I did, I was delighted because she welcomed the idea. She remarked that it is good to have a balance between being together and ministering together. That Sunday afternoon, she helped me by sharing her testimony at the church I spoke at.

This was how our relationship began. It was the type of relationship I prayed I would have with a girl. I had spent time with other girls but none of them had expressed a willingness to serve the Lord the way Deonna did. I was encouraged by the fact that we were closer to the Lord and to each other when we parted that evening.

After our first date, we committed the future of our relationship to the Lord. Although we saw each other frequently between the months of February and August, we had to be separated for a period of three and a half months. Deonna toured with the Crossroads in Indonesia and the Southern Philippines in March and April; then in July, I went to the U.S. for Campus Crusade for Christ’s Explo’ 72 and Lay Staff Training.

With the possibility of marriage in mind, Deonna and I thought it would be wise for me to visit her family while in the U.S. During the second week of my trip to the U.S., I spent four days in Florida with them. I discussed with her father what the Lord had been showing us in regards to our relationship. I left her family with the assurance that her parents would welcome our marriage if it were the Lord’s will.

My love for Deonna grew during the rest of my time in the U.S. For the first time in my life, I began to realize the meaning of Agape Love – an unconditional, unselfish love. I discovered within myself a freedom to love her without the fear of losing her or of becoming jealous. Regardless of her response to me, I knew I would still love her. I only desired the best for her.

In August, the Lord finally confirmed that he had chosen Deonna to be my wife. He did this through many Bible verses and through the love which He had placed within me for her. Knowing that Deonna was to be my wife, I was eager to see her. As soon as my responsibilities would allow me, I began my trip home.

I had to stop in Germany to attend to some business affairs. Although I originally intended to spend a few months in Germany to complete my business there, I was able to do everything in a week. Then, I immediately flew to the Philippines with the intention of asking Deonna to marry me.

Wasting no time, I proposed to Deonna on Sunday, the 27th of August, which was just one day after I returned to Manila. I did not know what the Lord had revealed to her concerning our future. I only knew that I loved her and that the Lord had showed me that Deonna was to be my wife. Trusting His promises me, I had the courage to ask her to marry me. But when I asked her, she did not answer me immediately. After a moment of silence, she said, “Peter, please get my Bible out of the car. I want to share with you what the Lord showed me concerning our relationship.”

I never expected her to respond this way! Nevertheless, I brought her Bible and “patiently” waited for thirty minutes while she read the many Bible verses God had shown her. When she finally finished, I asked, “Deonna, what is your answer?” Again, she surprised me by saying, “Peter, let’s pray.” Not knowing what to expect next, I bowed my head. At the end of her prayer to the Lord, I heard her say, “Father, before you and all of heaven I say ‘yes’ to Peter. I will be his wife.”

I opened my eyes and looked at her. I never though that the woman I would marry would say “yes” to me through a prayer to our heavenly Father. Yet, Deonna had done it! I was overjoyed as I thought, “I am looking at my wife to be. She is God’s gift to me.” I remember my prayer in December, “Lord, let me meet my future wife.” God faithfully fulfilled His promise to me…” Whatever you ask in my name, that will I do…” My heart was full of joy, praise, and thanksgiving to God for giving me such a wonderful woman.

I can honestly say, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

God is so good. He knows what is best for His children and when it is best to give it to us. Through this experience with Deonna, I have learned that “Faith” means to trust the Lord moment by moment, one step at a time.


A week before leaving California for Asia, my mother entered the kitchen while I was cooking my lunch. “Deonna,” she said. “I am glad that you have chosen to obey the Lord by going to Asia to minster there as a member of the Crossroads.” Then I observed tears welling up in her eyes as she continued, “But honey, you are already 25. When will you get married?”



I was deeply touched by her motherly concern. However, I had already given this problem to Christ and left it for Him to solve. Because of this, I was able to encourage her by replying, “Mother, if there was only one man in the world but the Lord Jesus Christ wanted me to marry him, then Jesus would bring me to him.” Then unexpectedly I added, “Who knows, Mom, maybe I’ll marry an Asian? God might have a permanent ministry planned for me in Asia.” This last statement certainly didn’t comfort her. She burst into tears at the thought of me staying in Asia for life.

When I left Lost Angeles airport on November 14, 1971, I did not know that Jesus was actually taking me to meet a handsome Chinese man who would be my husband. Nor did I realize that I was leaving one way of life to eventually begin a new life with him in a foreign country. Unknowingly, Jesus had given me a glimpse of my future through my statement to my mom.

The Crossroads arrived in the Philippines on November 21. Manila had been chosen as our home base since the Asian Training Center for Campus Crusade for Christ (CCC) was located there. Three weeks after arriving we attended the CCC Leadership Training Institute. On the second day of the institute, the topic of marriage came up again when Becky,  a newly married Filipino staff of CCC, shared with me that months before she met Ben, her husband, she had prayed for certain qualities to be in the man she married.

The results of Becky’s prayer inspired me to do the same. After the institute, I prayerfully made the list of qualities, which I wanted to be in the man I would marry. It was my desire that each quality would be pleasing to Lord. Let me share these qualities with you. I wanted:

  1. A true Christian – a man who has trusted Christ to forgive his sins and because of this, has Christ’s Spirit living in him.
  2. One who loves God more than he loves me.
  3. A man who allows Christ’s Spirit to control him and to guide his life.
  4. One chosen by the Lord to serve Him.
  5. One who understands that the Lord’s role for a Christian husband is to be the head of his home – to lead his wife through his love and not by force.
  6. A man with leadership ability.
  7. A man who is sensitive and understanding with others and wise in human relationships.
  8. One who is intelligent, has achieved the same level of education as I have, has a positive attitude toward life, and one who enjoys sports like swimming, (something that we can do together).

Although I didn’t know where this man was, I did know that the Lord would bring me to him someday. Until that time, I was content to pray for him and to wait.

In January, just one month after I had begun praying for my future husband, I met Peter. Our first meeting was very casual, and to be honest, very ordinary. We were at the weekly Friday night meeting of Campus Crusade for Christ. Approaching me with a friendly smile, he said, “Hi, I’m Peter.” I smiled and returned the greeting. I remember little of the rest of our one and a half minute conversation. But, I did take note of Peter and his personality. He appeared very friendly, sure of himself, and capable of leadership.

Later the following week, Peter invited the Crossroads to dinner. It was then that I learned he was in the textile business. The next Friday night at the Crusade meeting, he asked me to go sightseeing on Sunday afternoon. I accepted his invitation. However, our date did not turn out as I had expected. Since Peter had accepted a speaking engagement during our date, we ended Sunday afternoon ministering together in a small local church.

As I listened to him preach, I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to minister together like this with my husband.” At that time, I did not realize that I would be ministering with Peter for the rest of my life. Standing before me was the man I would marry and for whom I had been praying. But, I didn’t know it.

After our first date, Peter and I began dating frequently. Each time we were with each other, we were drawn closer together. God also used the two of us, a blonde American lady and a dark-haired Chinese man, to bring many people to Christ. The more I was with Peter, the more I discovered that his qualities were identical to the qualities I had prayed to have in my husband.

Then in April, Peter told me that he believed the Lord was showing him that I was to be his wife. When he told me this, I became excited, but at the same time, I felt uneasy. To be married to a man with Peter’s qualities was in my prayer. Yet, to marry Peter meant marrying outside my own race. In order to make such a decision I had to know God’s attitude towards mixed marriages. I also had to be absolutely sure that it was God’s will for me to marry Peter. So, I replied, “Peter, I believe that a marriage relationship requires a mutual confirmation from the Lord that it is his will.” He agreed.

That night I returned home and wrote a list of practical questions to the Lord Jesus. I desired to know his perspective on mixed marriages, leaving my country, the future of our children, and the type of ministry Peter and I would have. I committed these questions to Him and expected Him to answer me from the Bible.

Finally, five months later on August 24 while I was returning by ship from the Southern Philippines, the Lord directed me to passages in the Bible which specifically answered all of my questions. Although I had many questions which He answered, I will only share with you His attitude towards races. In Galatians 3:26-28, He showed me that those of us who are in Christ are children of God. The earthly classifications of individuals by race and social status are replaced by a new classification for the children of God; we are one in Christ.

After he answered all my questions positively, I was confident that it was His will for Peter and me to be married. Bowing my head, I prayed, “Lord, thank you for showing me your will and for giving me to such a wonderful man as Peter.”

Two days after this revelation, Peter unexpectedly returned from his two months trip to the U.S. The day after his return, the 27th of August, he proposed to me. I did not expect him to ask me to marry him this soon after his return. I was excited but surprised.

I wanted to first share with him all the verses the Lord had given me in regards to our relationship before I answered him. After sharing the verses, I was still uneasy about the future. Even though I loved Peter, I realized that saying “yes” to him would change the entire course of my life. That was a difficult decision for me to make. However, God had clearly shown me that this was His perfect plan; that I should be Peter’s wife. I knew that I needed to pray in order to have the courage to make such a decision. I asked Peter to pray with me. I thanked the Lord for His plan for our lives, for Christ’s power to be obedient to His will, and most of all for Peter. While still praying, I said “yes” to the Lord and then “yes” to Peter.


Recently, my mom gave a shortened version of her testimony before our church and I want to add what she said:

My vows to Peter were consistent to the vow I had made to God.  As Ruth had said to Naoimi  in  Ruth 1:16 “…Where you go I will go … Your people shall be my people and your God, my God.”

When I first arrived in Manila, the Lord had given me a promise of blessing which I did not really understand at that time from Mark 10:29-30. Jesus said, “Truly I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brother or sister or mother or father or children or farms, for my sake and for the gospel’s sake but that he will receive a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms along with persecution; and in the age to come, eternal life.”

Peter and I have now been married for nearly 41 wonderful years and looking back I can see that the Lord has literally fulfilled these promises to me. He gave me a wonderful husband whom I love and respect even more then ever!  And five children and in-law children who love and serve the Lord and thirteen, going on fifteen, amazing grandchildren! Of course, I also have many spiritual brothers and sisters whom I love who are also the fulfillment of God’s promise of blessing in my life as well. Truly it is the nature of God to bless us!  And He has blessed me beyond what I could have ever imagined! All by His grace!






Ten Quotes to Start the New Year With Sass!


I decided that since we’re on the cusp of a new year, there was no time like the present to share my top ten favorite quotes from my book, The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass. 2013 was a big year for me, as it saw the release my first published book…but I think 2014 has the potential to be an even BIGGER and BETTER year for ALL of us…in life, career, and love. So as we look ahead to a new year, a new chapter, and a new beginning, let’s make a resolution to make this the bravest, boldest, most fabulous year EVER! Here are a few quotes to inspire, encourage, and motivate us as we say farewell to 2013 and welcome 2014 with flash, class, and a dash of sass…


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